Many of us pride ourselves on strength: the ability to overcome anything that life places on our path. As such, we seem to always be “on guard” watching for metaphoric leopards and other predators as though we are still on the savannah, in constant danger.
Fortunately, we have evolved as human beings, no longer in danger as our ancestors were. Perhaps our survival instincts have not yet caught up to the sign of the times. We may still have reflexes and survival skills of yesteryear. Thank goodness for this because we know we will be able to survive if we face any type of eminent danger.
Our survival instinct today seems to go beyond being predator or prey. It seems in modern times that in order for us to survive, we need to be strong.
Polarity: Two Parts of a Whole
Immersed in faith, strength and surrender go hand in hand. These two attributes: one of being strong, and the other of letting go, are polarities. Even though they may seem to be diametrically opposite, they are but 2 sides of the same coin.
Most of us have a “Yang” side to us that we prefer to show as our public face: upwardly rising, positive, strong and productive.
And within the wholeness of our being, there is also a “Yin” side of us that we prefer to keep private: still, negative, vulnerable and passive.
So much of our western culture places judgment on what is good and what is bad. We find this label even with the eastern idea of Yin and Yang. We have associations with positive and light being good. Whereas, negative and darkness, we associate with being bad.
As we evolve in consciousness, we must change this paradigm in our minds. We must release the idea that we HAVE TO be 100% happy all the time, or that we HAVE TO be 100% strong all the time.
We needn’t constant achieve. Many times, it is okay (even heathy!) to breath and do nothing.
RELATED: Come Home to Worth
Yin and Yang, as with all polarities: light and dark, heads and tails, strength and surrender, NEED each other. They are both necessary and required for the other to exist. Our labeling of “good“ and “bad“ are a construct that we must shift in order to better understand ourselves and the world in which we live.
After all, without darkness, we would not know light. In the same vein, without understanding the depth of sadness, we would not have a way to gauge the value of bliss.
Sandwiched below this introduction and the 21 tips to surrender, I offer an inspired piece about letting go of being strong all the time, written by the beautiful soul that is Kim Boudreau Smith.
In the spirit of polarity, this post also offers 21 Tips to Surrender Yourself to Self Care, releasing your soul from needing to be constantly “on” all the time.
The 21 tips to surrender and practice self-care will bring you back to groundedness and homeostasis when you find yourself off balance.
Let Go of Being Strong, ALL THE TIME
Authored by Kim Boudreau Smith
I like that people think I am strong. I do believe I am strong; sometimes my strength becomes a disadvantage. I am stubborn, but I am learning how to negotiate it, not balance it.
I am learning to Let Go of Being Strong, All of the TIME!
I guess you would say I am a doer, a go-getter, a strong woman. I am passionate about my values and beliefs. I am very passionate about the success of others, even more so than them at times. I’m learning how to strengthen those boundaries and to meet people where they are at that point in time. More importantly, I’m learning how to strengthen my own self-care boundaries.
Being strong is amazing. You can land on your feet, so to speak, when anything comes your way. You can work through fears, conquer great accomplishments, and excel.
However, NEWS FLASH: I don’t want to be strong all the time. I want collapse and cry and be told that everything will be OK. That my dogs will be safe, and things will get done. I have always felt, no matter what, that I had to be the strong one; the one to hold things together.
I DON’T WANT TO BE THE STRONG ONE, at least not today.
Moving forward here is what I must do:
Self-care, one more time. Self-care.
I will be practicing self-forgiveness instead of putting myself down when things don’t go right. I will write and let myself off the hook and forgive. We need to learn to forgive ourselves before we can forgive others. I am beginning the letting go of being strong all the time.
I will pray more and have more conversations with God. I will let Him carry the burdens, so I can rest, rejuvenate, heal and become stronger.
Let go of being strong.
Letting go of my strength is a continuous process. I will take time in nature, it is my favorite place to be. This isn’t just about walking the dogs, it is being with me in nature. I will breathe deep breaths.
Let go of being strong.
I will allow myself to cry, even if I am talking with a friend, or driving down the street. I will allow myself to be still and feel Him moving through me.
Let go of being strong.
Most importantly, I will not lose my voice. I will speak my truth, calmly, passionately with f-bombs and every other curse word I feel is appropriate.
Let go of being strong.
My story, my message is the change this world desperately needs to heal.
If you find any judgement around this post, I invite you to lean into the message. Your personal healing is never ever complete.
Let go of being strong.
None of us are broken; none of us are perfect. We are all miraculous being that come with pain and joy. There are lessons to be learned and lessons to grow from. We are perfectly imperfect.
Let go of being strong, ALL OF THE TIME!
X o X o X o
21 Tips to Surrender and Care For Yourself
Self-care is a trendy, modern age name for taking care of yourself. When we feel we HAVE TO be 100% strong (for ourselves or anyone else), we may be prodded into a routine that lacks self compassion. In doing so, we might unintentionally neglect the sacred soul that resides within our bodies.
To counteract the imbalance of striving (the NEED to always be on the edge of doing and going), these 21 self care tips will help you surrender to the now. These tips will take you momentarily out of the frenetic energy of "should haves, could haves and would haves," into the NOW moment.
These practical tips offer a level of awareness that will bring you to a moment of appreciation for what is happening in your life NOW, so that you may release and let go of being strong all the time.
1. Choose to be around positive, encouraging, loving energy. Another words, choose to not be around negativity and discord. If you know that you are headed into a confrontation, table that conversation for another day.
2. Do a self check on where you are emotionally on a periodic basis. Every hour or so, consciously check in with yourself and see where you are emotionally. If you are approaching upset, or negativity, make an earnest effort to pull back the reigns so that you are either neutral or back positive space.
3. Gift Yourself. Go ahead, go out and purchase a small gift for yourself. Buy something that you would normally not acquire for yourself, but happily buy for another person.
4. Receive positive feedback. Ask 3 people what hey absolutely love and would never change about you.
5. Spend Time With Yourself. Go on a date with yourself and be your own sacred company.
6. Let Go of Your To-Do List for the Day. Create space so you can be blissfully free for 24 hours (you can do it!)
7. Name 5 Positive Things About Your Life, and Write It down. Big or small, intentionally taking the time to notice the positive will cultivate a heart of gratitude.
8. Take a New Route. If you commute to work, take a different route to notice small nuances of the neighborhoods you drive through. If you work from home, take a new route next time you go to the store or run an errand.
9. Watch the Clouds Go By. Be present to the gift that is life. Cloud watching is a masterful activity of presence and available to children and adults alike.
10. Taste a Fruit. Practice mindful eating, as though for the first time. Choose a tangerine or a whole fruit of any sort. Taste every morsel. Notice if the fruit has a scent? Close your eyes and feel the skin, the texture, both on your hands and in your mouth .
11. Do something 100% for yourself. Wash your hair, get pampered, get a facial. Create time to be present with the activity and nothing else.
12. Stretch it out. Give your body and stretch. Create space to live every inch of your sacred temple.
13. Time Out for 15 breathes. Take time to be still and be present to the life that breathes you. Take long deep inhalations. As you release your breath, do so reluctantly to feeling the oxygen leave you body.
14. Deed of the day. Do something nice for someone else. Help an old lady cross the street. Carry the groceries for the neighbor. Leave an extra large tip.
15. Commune with nature. Hug a tree, talk to a flower. Give thanks for sunshine that caresses your skin.
16. Exercise your super power. Everyone has a super power. Share your gift by using it today.
17. Plan a weekend offline. Pick a weekend, schedule time off, unplug and put screens to recharge and rejuvenate.
18. Give positive feedback to 3 people. Call 3 people and tell them how much you love them and how they are important to you.
19. Free Movement. Be good to your body. Move, dance, skip, prance, jump, do anything that frees up stagnant and trapped energy in body.
20. Do something creative. Sing, dance, draw, paint, build, craft, bake, cook - do anything that fosters creativity.
21. Do one thing you’ve been putting off. Making time to complete this will relieve the tiny burden off your shoulders and free your energy and avail you for positivity that awaits.
May you receive the courage to be present to your unfolding life, and evolving spirit. Implementing these practical tips to self care may enable you to fall into the arms of life - and the present moment awareness that is blessing you now.
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About the Author :: Show some Love and Follow Her. Let her know you found her here at 💝 Path of Presence 🦋
Kim Boudreau Smith is not only a cheerleader for high achieving women who want to manage having it all, she is a multi-media maven that can assist them in showing up bigger on a multitude of platforms.
While building her blog, Her Bold Voice, Kim spent the last year discovering personal peace while developing her self-development and coaching skills.
As a former corporate sales leader, Owner of one of the first Internet Radio Stations, host of a weekly global Radio Show, an internationally renowned speaker, a 25+ year Fitness business owner and video creator, as well as a compiler and co-author to multi books in the Amazon Best-selling arena, Kim shares the challenges of finding peace while remaining viable, relevant and successful in today’s marketplace.
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Friends: What do you think of surrendering to self-care? Do you find yourself NEEDING to be strong ALL THE TIME?
In what ways do you come back to yourself for self care?
Which of the 21 ways fo self care most resonates with you - and how might you implement it today?