14 - Walk Your Own Path: Quit Comparing Yourself to Another

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Hello!  And welcome to Season 2, Episode 2 of our Path of Presence Podcast, available at:  www.PathofPresence.com/podcast

I’m Evelyn Foreman.  Our theme for this season is all about the journey of presence - of being present to the process of entrepreneurship - of building a business, and of living a thriving, balanced and integrated life.

Today’s topic is a dozy- we all do it - we compare.  I think they even have a phrase for that: “Keeping up with the Jones’.”

As human beings, we do that, don’t we?  We compare.

Someone of us remember it all so well — as far back as our childhood when our well-meaning parents used to say, “Look at Suzi - she’s so this and that - why can’t you be more like her?”

“Look at how well Such and such did on her exam.  You’ll need to work a lot harder than that to keep up!”

Can you think of a few of those back-handed jabs that, though well-meaning, are like branding forks on your psyche?

YUCKY, right?

Whatever our past is, even if we’ve done work around comparison, we still might come face to face with the self-criticism and judgement that arises when we "mean talk" to ourselves…when we do not feel like we are enough, or up to par.

This is what happens.  Let’s say Mary comes in and wants to build a business online.  She knows how to use email and is not afraid of technology.  And she’s see’s all these program out there that people are facing, and she thinks,”Wow - I can do this!!”

So she starts her adventure: building, learning to building, doing and learning to do.  And then, invariably, somewhere along the line, Mary will look up and say, “Hey!! Why does my this and that not look like Jeanine's?”

And then we want to be better, which is great, but then, as our human nature kicks in, we’ll start to compare how we (excuse the language here) - how "we suck" compared to Betsy, or Amy or Viona.

Truth is, Mary has been doing this for 3 months, or 6 months or even a year and half.

And she’s looking at Betsy or Amy or Viona’s program that has been going for 3 years or 10 years or greater….

Many times, we are looking outward from ourselves, like Mary, and seeing the best and the shiniest marketing campaign and strategy of others who has polished, refined and have been doing this for a very long time.

We are not privy to their struggle - we can only see the exterior, calculated packages they offer.

And immediately, we discount what we have done.  We question our path, and perhaps, because we feel unfocused, we begin to wonder how and why we even got started dint he 1st place. And then, the mean girl voice appears: that inner critic within our consciousness rises up …and we are tricked into believing that is our Truth.

So I’m calling this out - because this happens to most, if not all of us.  Between the left ear and the right ear is the most powerful machine there is:  our brain.

We can use our brain for good: to calculate, to strategize and to enlist the workforce that is our entire consciousness.  But it can also fall prey to being the victim.

Here’s the thing …

Unless you were brought up by unicorns, or care bears, or even those cute little happy trolls- This voice [the mean girl voice] always seems to come through so critically because this is part voice of ego, and part voice of a race consciousness - the culture and society where we are told perhaps through modeling, parenting or media reinforcements that tell us: we’re not good enough.

We look at someone’s day 5,982 and compare it to our day 36, or 158 or 3,000.  No matter how we slide it, or how much you put pressure on yourself to be absolutely amazing, you are on your own journey and they may very well be farther along on their journey.

So keep that in mind - they are on their journey.

And you are on YOUR journey.

Rather than to compare yourself to another, keep your head down.  Do YOUR work.  Keep listening to your own inner guidance.

Walk your path (not anyone else's).

Let the road be paved by your footsteps and don’t be concerned about following another. Remember that you are here to do something really special - that only you can do! 

So gather up your resources, pull up those big girl panties and do your thing!

Be present, and aware, and mindful.  Bring your WHOLE heart.  Believe in yourself and do your thing.

The world totally awaits!!  So if you insist on comparing, do so - compare yourself with YOURSELF. 

Ask, overtime, "Is this the best I can do? Where was I a year ago?  ...6 months ago? ...Last week?"  

If you have grown since, then keep going…it's the right path for you! 

The results will come, and rather than beating yourself up to look like anyone else, put all your effort - your whole heart - your whole being - into being yourself.

Thanks for join me today - It is a privilege and a pleasure to be part of your sacred journey.  This is Evelyn Foreman with Path of Presence...sending you good jujus and see you on the next episode!